pre-guyana jitters

I wanted to cook tonight in hopes that the mincing and mixing of herbs, the smell of a fresh salmon fillet from whole foods, and all the amazing tastes inside my mouth would help me untangle what I feel about moving to Guyana for the next 2+ years… but I’m still left a little speechless.

It’s weird telling people that I’m moving to South America (not Africa) next year. Heck, it’s weird telling it to myself. After reading about a thousand blogs, pre-service handbooks, and crossing a few things off my unending “needs to be done by the end of July” list I wish I could say it’s fully sunk in. It’s a whole freaking lot, but you know, at least it’s settling into my reality a little better than last week. Baby steps.

Besides what I’ve researched after I found out I’m moving there, I literally agreed to this knowing very VERY little about Guyana. I know saying that won’t make my parents feel any better about my decision, but it’s a daunting adventure I’m beyond grateful they’re willing to be a part of. Thanks mom and dad.

I’ve had a hard time sorting out my feelings of excitement and fear, but it’s times like these that I’m so thankful that Jesus is the man that he is. He understands me before even I do. In between my daydreams about the hideous creatures I’ll have to protect myself from out there and the seemingly empty dirt roads I’ll see instead of Walmarts on every street corner, I’ve begun wondering what change I’ll be a part of and how I can prepare for that now. And so far in this pre-Guyana journey, instead of preparing me with more knowledge about nutritional assessments and how to cope with cockroaches, I am noticing how Jesus is preparing my heart for what’s ahead.

Something I’ve realized is that I’m not going to Guyana to save it–I’m being sent to serve it. And that truth in itself has taken the pressure off my poor mind and has calmed down the awful anxiety I’ve held inside of me since I received my invitation to be there.

In the blogs I’ve read, I’ve noticed how many volunteers are disappointed with how little the results are from their work. Which, in their defense, I  understand because I think most of us are actually giving up a lot to be there and I can see why under these circumstances we’d expect a greater reward. But I have learned that regardless how big or small my accomplishments are it’s still something much more significant than my ego.

I think many people wonder why humanitarian stuff isn’t as fulfilling or glamorous as we romanticize it to be. I can bet that I won’t be as busy as many of you think and I’ll often ask myself (like the thousands of volunteers before me have) “What difference am I really making here?”

This is my first post about my journey to Guyana and I definitely plan on sharing more as it unfolds. But as I count down the months and days until I leave, I hope you’ll pray with me. I’m so beyond thrilled for this opportunity, but it’s difficult stuff that I know I can’t handle alone. So thank you for reading this and thank you for investing even your time in me. You’re a part of this journey as much as I am.

Love always,



Feta and Herb Crusted Salmon



  • fillet of salmon (fresh or frozen)
  • 1/3 c fresh parsley (minced)
  • 1/4 c chives (minced)
  • 1/3 c crumbled feta cheese
  • 2 lemons
  • olive oil
  • salt/whole peppercorn


  1. Pre-heat oven to 350F
  2. Mince all your herbs and mix together with crumbled feta cheese.
  3. Rub both sides of the salmon fillet with olive oil, whole peppercorns, and pinches of salt.
  4. Squeeze lemon juice onto the fillet.
  5. Take herb mix and spread it across real nice.
  6. Squeeze more lemon.
  7. Put inside oven for about 15 minutes.
  8. Once 15 minutes is up, set the oven on low broil and let the salmon crisp up for another 5 minutes.
  9. Pair with your favorite sautéed veggies or add it to a salad!

I’ll never get tired of telling people how good cooking is for my soul. You can bet that I’m super excited about the kind of food I’ll be eating and learning about in South America.

enjoy dearies!

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